Against the Ground

by Kyle Ebner

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06:50
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04:08
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03:23
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02:42
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credits

released April 14, 2017

Songs, instruments, vocals, recording, mixing, and mischievous merrymaking by Kyle Ebner
Vocals on "Wedding Suit" by Yeon Jee

Mastered by Brian Ullman

Recorded in Lancaster, PA, Ithaca, NY, and Brooklyn, NY

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Track Name: Miracles
lunch at a neighborhood restaurant
you take a seat up at the bar
where you see cars
and photographs of movie stars
the bartender's harvesting energy
he keeps it in bottles on shelves
and if you call
well, he might give ya some
and you'll see god
in grey goose and kettle one

night at a club of gentlemen
it's one place you'll never forget
you bask in the stench
of perfume and body sweat
the dancer is harvesting energy
she keeps it all between her legs
and when they part
it’ll rocket ya to the stars
where you’ll see god
in tiny hairs and c section scars
and you’ll say “oh, god, how
am i gonna die?"

you’re in for your once a year checkup
the light shining bright in your eyes
as you say “ahhh”
the stick goes in lengthwise
the doctor is harvesting energy
he keeps it inside of his pen
and when he scribes
it’s like a miracle
and you'll see god
in morphine and demoral
god
in codeine and fentanyl
and you’ll say “oh, god, how
am i gonna die?"
and you’ll say “oh, god, how
am i gonna die?”
Track Name: Lose, Forget, Pray
it's been four or five days since puff got away
i’m guessin' thats why i lie before you today
i’ve got bruises on my fingers and some marks on my chest
suffice it to say, today, i don’t look my best

and i’m skittish and grimaced, a tiddish bit piggish
yer syllables yowl like yer yellin’ in yiddish
the mercury risin’, i’m feeling diminished
so sickish and shittish, i think that i’m finished
anomoly, do you follow me?
freakish pathology, more quirks than amelie
lose your folk etymology, forget greek mythology and pray
get down on your knees and start to pray

i know the mornin’ will come when they take me from here
either in a body bag or in a rousing cheer
my little baby sister and my girlfriend are near
i’ve got the best fam in town, so i don’t have to fear
they say:
why don’t you all
please heed my call
fall down on your knees and start to pray

lose, forget, pray
Track Name: Buddy
i got it buddy
you're not misunderstood
so spare me the details
i'm not in that mood

i remember the first time
you were a friend of a friend
i met you at a party
i was on the mend
and then we kissed
and then we kissed

i got a buddy
he says that yer no good
he says yer wicked
he says you could
be my end

don’t go into the ether
don’t open door number 2
i don’t think i’m dependent
but i don’t know what i'd do
without you
without you
without you
i gotta concede
i think you passed my test
no need to barter
no need to bend my wrist
be my guest
and then we kissed
be my end
without you
would be my end
without you
without you
without you
without you
Track Name: (Falling) Against the Ground
after work i pull my van in
toys all strewn about the yard
i rub a spot into the window
and see that your car’s gone

i lock the door to the basement
it’s like a little game
and hug my vice by the drywall
where your face is framed

tears i've found
going against the crowd
will ease my sound
falling against the ground

i take a walk with my secret
you think you know it too
i hide and you seek it
i keep a lot from you
because i like the way she moves
when she’s in my vein
and i love to take her home
i think she feels the same

fighting stairs for my freedom
far, fanciful, fray
rising floors, failing railings
in the usual way
i like the way she says my name
and the way she smiles
but you know to feel the same
i stick with her a while

awake, aware? no. who i am?
a grin, a carpet scar
with heavy mind, a merry man
another over par
and the way she shies above
it isn't always right
in spite of what she lacks in love
i’ll stay with her tonight
Track Name: Seattle Shoe Charade [AKA They Wanted Me to Go to Rehab and I Said "Okay"]
locked and loaded in a prius
least mom’s got sirius
we’re going to seattle
what’s the story in seattle:

scores fer me to settle
and demons to battle
maybe sweat out some icicles
spin the wheels on a bicycle

or retreat into the shadows
walk off like mickey mantle
escape through the patio
i dig this song on the radio, turn it up

now and then, gotta know when to pop
twist like you’re twirlin’ a top
rollin’ on the floor like a four-sided die
as long as the beat don't stop

already missin’ encinitas
as we’re passin’ pasadena
took 110 cause the 5 was jammed
like an m-16 in vietnam

now i’m brewin’ like a kettle
push the pedal to the metal
think about the benefits
i’m gonna get some medicine, right?

chalk it all up to ignorance
i still claim my innocence
i probably coulda made amends
i wanna hear that hook again

now and then, gotta know when to pop
twist like you’re twirlin’ a top
rollin’ on the floor like a four-sided die
as long as the beat don't stop

now and again, remember to sing
spin like you're pulling a string
dance around the floor like a rat at a rave
and cha to the shoe charade

i can’t help but have fear
what happens when i leave here
can i chill with my old friends?
can i party on the weekends?

will my daughter forget me?
will my father forgive me?
will i live with my family
and get my 15 on tv?

my thoughts: fees and bills
lightning strikes, survival skills
cocaine and alcohol
loneliness and self control

weed, oxy, adderal
confidence in setting goals
xanax and klonopin
maybe i’ll be born again

get a job working at a grill
guess i could be a student, still
i’m starting to rattle
what the fuck am i doing in seattle?

now and then, gotta know when to pop
twist like you’re twirlin’ a top
rollin’ on the floor like a four-sided die
as long as the beat don't stop

now and again, remember to sing
spin like you're pulling a string
dance around the floor like a rat at a rave
and cha to the shoe charade
and cha to the shoe charade
Track Name: Lightning
i found you when this sordid lightning
struck you from the sky
you couldn’t even feel me bite ya
you didn’t think twice

i clutch you in my arms so tightly
unwrapped and unwound
as gentle a sleeping baby
you barely make a sound

they poke you with their morbid writing
you read it on the walls
and feeble-footed feet move forward
and pray for us aaaiiii

you wallowed in the so so so so so so

i whistle to you from the sidewalk
i said come over here (hahaha)
your face was painted with reluctance
“hey man, i’ll i wanted was a beer” (hahaha)

i punched you in your gut so subtly
but quickly eased your pain
i seized the moment, carpe diem
and burrowed in your brain

i held you in my arms so lightly
scribbling notes into the sand
as expected, like a fucking moron
you let the firecracker blow up inside your hand

ahh, did you fight or did you scream?
did it fuck you up in the head?
did you feel it when i bit your hand and encumbered your fucking soul?
and showed you things you ain’t never seen
...
let’s all end this now
let’s all end this now
let’s all end this now
you won’t
you won’t
you won’t return again
again
again
you won’t return again
Track Name: Ticking
cool winds in the forest
I could leave it intact
but the trees are singing
sayin’ i’ve got to come back

with the range of a rifle
she could shoot down a wolf
wading on through the water
traveling brook to brook

I'll long for starry eyes
the sorry eyes

when the lights go out now
and the dogs go back home
we could stand in the shadows
we could wait for our own

but we wouldn't be truthful
at least not to ourselves
we could hold a handful
we could send them to hell

and the rise of the lines in your lies

and the spies in your eyes
and the the time of your life
and the waves in your wine
and the likes of the dying
and the wolves of the right
and the burning vines
and the wasted time
and the storied sigh
and the raging rise
and the blowing blinds

and the ticking and the ticking of the time
and the ticking of the ticking of the time
and the time and the ticking of the time
and the ticking of the time
and the time and the ticking of the time

and the dinner bell chime
and the sorry in your eyes
and the lazy lines

the growing grind

and the ticking and the ticking of the time
and the ticking of the ticking of the time
and the time and the ticking of the time
and the time and the ticking of the time
and the ticking of the time
and the ticking of the time
and the time and the ticking of the time
and the ticking of the time
Track Name: Still Yer Buddy
i tell ya buddy
it sure sounds good
so lost off the deep end
and i'm drowning

i’ve got a secret
you don’t know

how does sleep feel
down below

actress, child,
dog, and wolf

forty acres
in the woods

you think you know me now buddy?
have you lost yer fuckin mind
sleep slow
sleep slow
seep low
below
Track Name: Wedding Suit (featuring Yeon Jee)
you look lovely
that jacket fits damn nice on you
your eyes, so pretty
i really love that shade of blue

on such a big day
i'm happy i am here with you
for all your innocence
and all your fucking up, i still love you

and we laugh a lot
we laugh a lot, that's what it's like with you

it breaks my heart to know i dreamt of you
in dreams i never get to marry you
last night i saw you in your wedding suit
it's what you wore when we buried you
Track Name: Two
i pose for the camera
you see two men
one is a man on a mission
and the other is on the mend

two men falling over
struck down with a curse
one may finish next to last
but the other started first

i pause for a moment
as i gaze at the flash
one was armed with a motive
and the other was on his ass

two men in a nightmare
plucked from John carpenter's mind
one was a man serving notice
and the other afraid to die

i sat at at the piano
and played each verse
one of them ends in a coda
and the other ends in a hearse
Track Name: Avon Lake, OH
i wallowed away
i wallowed away
and i felt insane
on those basement stairs
blowing cocaine

i looked at myself
a hunger for health,
an embattled brain,
and the bedroom walls
covered in stains

and the rain pourin' down from the sky
and the day seepin' in through my blinds
i think it's a lie
as the tv hums
family ties

i wanted the bay
i wanted a beer
but i found my place
with that ratchet girl
from walker and lear

with the rain pouring down on my face
and her bangs falling down in her eyes
it must be a lie
as the bell rings out
on register 5

i wanted away
away from here
as the night grows dark
on the search for stars
that never appear

but rain beamin’ down from space
like sweat dripping down from her thighs
i hope it’s a lie
as the plot gets thick
and i’m still alive
Track Name: Bones & Marrow
it's over now
time, still
please and thanks
and want and will

regret, defeat
a break in peace
and all the time
she wants to be
alive

golly gee
the reckoning
they call your tab
they send you letters

accounts in freeze
and doctors fees
don’t be surprised
if she says
hello

uppers and drag
a road unto
a clouded sky
a voice in night

cage heat
and cloud your eyes
and count your days
stretch your nights
but be aware
of when she is a

glass of rye
a grape sherry
our flaws and fear,
bones and marrow
a grounded type
born again
to fly